Sunday, October 21, 2012

Those jeans make your butt look great!

The other day I was driving home from work and I came to the intersection where all the political signs are. You know the one... it's always on a corner of an empty lot with a chain link fence and it starts the voting season with a few signs but the next thing you know, there are 10 signs for every candidate and there are so many you can't really pick one particular one out of the crowd.

This time, though, right in the middle there was this black sign with plain blue block letters and it said:
It made me smile. Even though I'm not even sure I was wearing jeans at the time.

It also reminded me that Fat Talk Free week is in October and this is October. So I went out on the internet when I got home to find out the dates. And guess what? This year Fat Talk Free week is the entire month! Just like I tried to make it last year. 

I feel like such a trendsetter.

For me, this year, Fat Free Talk Week/Month is very wrapped up in the scale. I am struggling with the scale these days. More so than my weight. Which is actually fairly stable. But those numbers... how those numbers can impact me. Even though I know in my head the scale is limited in what it can tell me.

It started earlier in the month when I noticed my wedding ring was getting loose again and some of my jeans were fitting much better. I hadn't weighed myself in a few days so I hopped on the scale anticpating a few pounds of loss. And I as UP a pound! UP!!

My mood plummeted.

Of course I gave myself a good scolding for letting the scale dictate my mood. "Self," I told my Self, "Which would you rather be: down on the scale but having a muffin top and tight rings or up on the scale but you look and feel better?" My Self just smirked. Sometimes my Self is stubborn.

Then, a few weeks later when I was weighing myself just because it had been a few days, the scale was miraculous DOWN a few pounds. And I was euphoric.

Even though I had no other evidence that there had been any change in my appearance. In fact, I looked exactly the same as I had when my weight was up. My jeans fit the same. My ring fits the same.

But I've not weighed myself since, because I don't want to do that and see a bigger number.

Even though my head has been feeling better and, as a result, my eating has gone down. Even though my jeans fit the same and my ring is still loose. So I know I can't really be up in terms of fat on my body. No matter what the scale says.

I think, compared to most women I know, I am much less a slave to the scale. But I still somewhat am one. I am not sure why this is, but I read this article lately and in it the author says:
Women need external feedback when it comes to their body. We need something to tell us that what we are doing is working otherwise our mind starts to spin into a negative dialogue and we give up.
Is this true? Is it a "woman" thing? It sure feels like it. The guys I know online who struggle with weight issues don't talk like the women and most of them are okay about the scale going up if they are doing things like strength training. Less so the women.

So, for all those women and for me too, here is a reminder:

The scale can only tell us how much  mass we take up on Earth. It tells us what we weigh, which is a numerical measurement of the force of gravity on an object, in this case, our physical bodies. It can't tell us how much of that weight is fat and how muscle and how much bones and organs and it most certainly can't tell us what our worth is as a person.

Look at these two pictures:

This woman lost 2 dress sizes and went from looking out of shape to fabulous. Yet "only" lost 3 pounds. Now, if someone on the internet told you that they started eating healthy and working out regularly but they only lost 3 pounds, wouldn't you feel sorry for them? They might even be feeling sorry for themselves.

But who is feeling sorry for this women? Not me! I'm feeling JEALOUS.

So I am going to pledge that for the rest of Fat Talk Free Month, I am not going to obsess about the scale and I am not going to tie my mood or my self-talk to the scale.

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