Tuesday, February 26, 2008

It's a Gas!

So about 2.5 weeks ago, I cut out carbonated drinks of any sort cold turkey. Since I'm not worrying about the caffeine so much or the artificial sweetners, it was pretty easy. And for 2 of those weeks, I had no gas!!

But it's Back with a Vengance, now.

I am now tracking everything I eat on The Daily Plate to see if I can figure out the culprit. I want that gasless state back. It was wonderful beyond belief.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

This is how fat I am

I just realized I need to post some pictures so you can see what I'm talking about. Mr. Mac took these so I have all sorts of issues with them as a photographer before we even get to how heavy I look in them:




Oh and the reason I look like I'm listing to one side? One of my legs is shorter than the other. :/

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

So freaking @(*&&((!! at my company right now

I have been doing further research on the Lap-Band surgery, trying to find a doctor and wanting to know what to expect. It's not been clear to me from my insurance company's web site which doctors are covered because they don't have a plan name in the "DocFinder" that is EXACTLY like what it says on my insurance card.

So I downloaded some plan summaries from my company's web site and found out that even though the plan I am on normally covers this surgery as long as you meet certain conditions -- which I meet in spades -- my stupid company has chosen to EXCLUDE it

I am so spitting mad because they claim to be a compassionate employer with awesome benefits. They have lots of "extras" including company match on the 401(k), and all sorts of corporate discounts to all sorts of services.

They also have a benefit to pay $300 towards gym membership. They have an onsite gym and a contract with a personal trainer and a nutritionist. They have all these other programs to promote good health in their employees.

But when there is something that WORKS -- that has a 75% success rate -- that will get me off my medicines for high blood pressure and cut down on my doctors visits for things like plantar fasciitis and help me live longer, on no. It's not covered because everyone knows that the morbidly obese are just lazy and all they have to do it eat less and exercise more and they won't have a problem at all.

Of course the fact that I am hungry every 2 hours and the Lap-Band will change that just doesn't count at all. I'd like to see the people who made this decision live with a body that gets hungry 8 times a day.

I am going to verify my understanding of the coverage. I am crossing my fingers that it's all a big misunderstanding even though I am sure it is not. Once I am 100% sure, I think I will write a letter to our benefits department and explain to them how short sighted their policy is.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My Ideal Weight is 90-110 Pounds ??!!?!

I have been worried about the fact that I'm not really 100 pounds over what I thought was my ideal weight. That is one of the conditions of getting the surgery. Then I found out that a lot of plans require you to be on a doctor-supervised diet for 6 months prior to surgery, which would probably cause me to lose some more weight, and I was even more worried.

But I should have known better. Our society's weight standards are so freaking out-of-whack with any sort of reality.

Right before I got married, I lost a lot of weight and went down to 130 lb. I was about as thin as I could be without being unhealthy. (I was also starving every second of the day and had just had major surgery, due to dieting to getting to that weight, but that's another story.) I could fit into a size 10, which I thought was reasonable. Maybe I had an extra 5 lb. or so of fat hanging around that would only come off with plastic surgery, but that was it. So I was thinking around 125 lb. as an ideal weight for a 20 something and maybe, now that I'm approaching AARP territory, the charts might go a little higher. At just under 225 pound, that would not put me at 100 lb. over my "ideal" weight even though my BMI is a whopping 44.

Well my 125 lb. estimate, which seems "ideal" to me, maybe even a little lower than ideal, is still considered overweight by the number crunchers of the world. Would you believe that most of the charts and calculators I've found on the web say that my ideal weight should be between 90 and 110 pounds?

I'm sorry, but that's crazy. There is no way I could weigh that little and be healthy. Part of that is that I've big boobs. Yes, they'll be smaller when I lost weight, but they've never been below a C cup, even at my skinniest. But even if you add in an extra 5 pounds for "boobage", that would only get me up to 95-115. I'd still be unhealthy at that weight in my estimation.

My maternal grandmother (who was probably anorexic and definitely had osteoporosis) was about my height. She weighed around 90 lb. in her 70s and almost died from getting the flu one year because of it. She had those horrible chicken-wing bones showing above her chest, too. I do not want to look like that. It's not just unhealthy, it's gross!

Oh well, at least I can stop worrying about not being approved for the surgery because I'm "only" 97 pounds overweight. Apparently I am actually almost 110 pounds overweight. I never thought I'd be cheering to find out I'm more overweight than I thought, but bariatric surgery is a strange planet where you cheer for the strangest things.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Carbonated drinks and caffeine, Oh my!

So It's been a few week since I decided to cut out carbonated drinks and caffeine and I'm going crazy here.

I never drank much caffeine before, but when I went out, I'd usually end up drinking an Arnold Palmer* or a Diet Soda. Both of those have caffeine and the Diet Soda has carbonation. Most restaurants don't have drinks like fruit punch. It's all soda, coffee and tea and maybe Lemonade. But I find Lemonade rather sour, hence the Arnold Palmer. I also am one of those weirdos that doesn't like coffee. So my choices are limited.

I think part of the problem is that I'm trying to do too much. I'm also trying to cut out artificial sweeteners. That's three things that tend to contradict each other. If it wasn't for the artificial sweeteners, I would just use that Crystal Light To Go and drink flavored water. My reasoning for getting rid of artificial sweeteners is because they interfere with the body's ability to know when it's full, but I guess that's not really an issue if you have a lap-band so maybe i'll lighten up on that one.

I used to drink a lot of water, especially when I went out, but it felt like deprivation. Maybe I can work on that and come to embrace water again. There aren't a lot of other choices!


*An Arnold Palmer is a mixture of Lemonade and Iced Tea, usually half and half.