Friday, November 21, 2008

I hate to shop for clothes! (Part II)

I hate to shop for clothes!

I wrote a really long diatribe about this about a year ago on my Family blog. In response, some moron posted a comment to the effect of "why don't you lose weight, you fat slob". (Naturally I deleted it. Morons don't need a platform.)

So here it is, a year later. I have lost 55 pounds. I still hate to shop.

Maybe I'm just doing it wrong?

Anyway, last weekend, armed with a 30% off coupon for Banana Republic, The Gap and Old Navy, I took Mini-Mac to the mall. I have plenty of clothes right now, but they aren't my clothes. That feeling you get as you age, when you look in the mirror and you see your mom looking back, is very much heightened when you are wearing her clothes!

I wanted a pair of comfortable pants with pockets. This does not seem like too much to ask for.

So I started at one end of the mall and worked my way down. First I went to Pac-Sun. I liked the music. Plus I like casual, fun clothes. But they only carry Junior sizes and I have breasts and hips. I tried on an XL jacket and couldn't even zip it up even though I'm almost in a Medium in Misses sizes. So I bought Mini-Mac a jacket instead.

Then I went from store to store. All the stores that had clothes I liked only carried Junior sizes. The rest had stuff I'd never wear. Victoria's Secret had my band size, but their cup sizes only went up to a C in that band size. That's 3 sizes too small for me.

We finally ended up, exhausted, at The Gap. The Gap claims to have jeans in three lengths. But "Ankle" length (Ankle? Whatever happened to Petite or even Short?) were not actually carried in that store. I would have to buy online and I really need to try on my clothes before I buy, which makes online buying less than convenient. So I bought Mini-Mac four pairs of jeans instead.

By the end of the day, Mini-Mac had a new pair of boots, four pairs of jeans, a cute t-shirt and a new jacket. I had a .... new necklace.

I think part of the problem is that my local mall sucks. It sucks so bad, I have decided to call it the New Park Mall of Suck. I might have had better luck at the Not-so Great Mall in the next town down. Or if I'd gone across the foothills to Pleasonton. There's a good mall where my kids go to school, too, but it's an hour away from the house.

But even if I'd gone to a mall with a better selection, I think I would still have this problem. Part of it is that I like youthful, edgy things and those kinds of clothes don't tend to come in Misses sizes. Part of it is that I don't know how to shop so there are probably stores and items in stores that could be great for me, but I don't know how to find them.

Case in point: there is actually a decent Plus Sizes store in the New Park Mall of Suck that I never knew about. Of course, I'm too small for it now and now is when I finally realize that a store called Basics Plus is not a store that sells Basics, plus some other things, but a store that sells Basics in Plus sizes. Silly me.

The other problem is that I'm a weird shape. I'm losing weight from my outer extremities in so I have a big pot belly and big breasts. But my arms and legs and shoulders are tiny. So if something fits over my big boobs, it is too big in my shoulders. Jackets that fit me on top, don't button across my stomach. Pants that fit over my stomach, bag in the arse. And so forth and so on.

This state of affairs will improve, of course, but even at my thinest, I will still have narrow shoulders and wide hips. I will have more of a selection though. So I guess this shopping thing will get easier.

I'm just disappointed that technically I'm in "regular" sizes and yet I can't shop at "regular" stores.
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